Punch!: Why I Hate Pastels (and Basically all Spring Trends)

So Spring is here and everyone is obsessed with two things- Florals and Pastels (pause for shock). The truth is, I'm pretty sick of hearing about them. Florals and Pastels for spring have been around since time eternal, and if you ask me they are the least original and least appealing of all the seasonal trends. Yes, Florals can be done well, but most of the time they just end up looking old and matronly. As for Pastels, well, I actually have a bit of an issue with pastel colors. It's like the colors themselves clearly missed the "go big or go home" memo, and instead decided to half-ass their color content, mere shades away from plain, blank-paper white. I suppose I shouldn't be too harsh though; they have their place. We can't wear all neon-bright-something all the time, and pastels are a good way to add color to a look without the item itself becoming the center of attention.They can also add color to a work outfit without looking too eccentric. But composing an entire outfit out of just pastels and white without even the subtlest hint of something punchier? And on your day off from corporate wardrobe slavery? Please. Ick.

And then there's this Nautical trend. It seems ever since T-Pain and Lonely Island took to the youtube airwaves with their boaty bragging rights, everyone else wants to follow suit (literally) in their wake (literally). Sure, I get it. Look at how lovely this weather is, let's all go out on our fancy boat! But trust me, I have been on many boats and they are as overrated a status symbol as they come. And really what is so appealing about Navy and White? Not much. As for the rest of the ocean making its way into our wardrobes (I'm looking at you, hipsters with nautical star tattoos and girls with anchor pendants), at least it's original, but I think it's time for this trend return to Davy Jones' Locker where it began.

Good Pastels
(AKA NeoPastels, AKA basically Neons or complementary to Neons )